A fresh perspective on persuasion and negotiations
Once upon a time, a monk was travelling through the woods.
Suddenly a samurai appeared in front of the monk, and with his sword drawn, asked in a menacing tone:
- Who are you?
- What are you doing here?
- Where are you going?
The monk, although somewhat shocked, thought for a moment and asked: “great Dono, could you please repeat the questions?”
Not confused by this request, the samurai repeated the questions, as travellers were often startled by his sudden appearance.
- Who are you?
- What are you doing here?
- Where are you going?
The monk then said, “mighty warrior, before answering, may I ask, how much does your master shogun pay you for staying in these woods and ask travellers those three questions?
The samurai replied, “my master pays me one sack of rice per month.”
… the monk then said, “I will give you two sacks of rice if you would come to live in my monastery and ask me those three questions every day!
The first time I heard this story, told by beloved professor Dr. Jim Gavin of Concordia University during my coaching training days, it took me a few seconds to realize the moral of the story. I was, for a brief moment, waiting for more. And then it hit me, we should all have something or someone to regularly remind us of these questions.
…most especially the first one. Who are you?
Now, you may wonder what does this story has to do with persuasion?
Well, the question of who we are is, in my view, cleverly addressed by Canadian businesswoman and TV show Dragons’ Den venture capitalist Arlene Dickinson in her book Persuasion, where the author confides that “the answer to who we are is what we want.”
“If we know what we want then we know who we are.”
… and sometimes we want others to do what we want, like suppliers, partners, or clients.
How do we then go about achieving this without being perceived as manipulative monsters?
The answer is cleverly simple. As a company or as individuals, when we take steps to build a good reputation, an honest image, a solid brand, and genuinely care about providing value to those around us, all we are really doing is building trust.
… and marketing gurus will tell us that trust leads to sales. And how right they are.
But it doesn’t stop there; trust significantly contributes to getting what we want. And this basic principle does not apply only to sales. In my experience as a purchasing officer in a large corporation, the work of building trust with suppliers begins on day one of the relationship, and well, it never ends.
We build trust with suppliers by…
- being well informed about the value of the supplier’s work. (avoid the frustration of negotiating prices with someone who does not understand the value of what is being purchased)
- offering conditions that are fair to both parties and competitive within the industry
- using data to drive objective and well-informed decisions
- elevating the supplier’s expertise through training, development and accountability
- recognizing and celebrating when progress is being made
- paying bills and obligations to suppliers on time every time
- fostering collaborative environments where suppliers feel heard and able to contribute (don’t hire experts to tell them exactly what to do)
- promoting collaboration and mutual benefit
- and by helping them, through any difficulty, as much as we can within the realities of the business and industry we are in…
… and if you have done your homework right when the time comes to negotiate contracts, prices and conditions with your suppliers, your counterparts in the negotiation table are likely to already be “persuaded” to go to war alongside you.
And one last bit of advice, if I may. Remember, don’t settle for something you don’t want.
…that’s not who you are 🙂
May all your negotiations bring you progress and growth.
P. S. Would you like to know more about sourcing, supply chain and business operations in the manufacturing world coupled with fostering a positive mindset? Here are three resources to get started right away.
- Join the community at our Private Facebook group to interact with business owners and professionals from all over the world operating in diverse industries, where we all share interesting news, helpful tips, encouragement and positive vibes.
- Receive our bi-weekly “Tuesday Talk”, and get insights and opportunities delivered right to your inbox.
- Book a 30-minute introductory session with Ana. Let’s meet and talk about your challenges and ideas, chances are I may be able to share some helpful thoughts.
I will be thrilled to share the journey with you!
Photo by Hao Qun on Unsplash
